I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
