....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
