____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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