Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Alive.
So much puke
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize