Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
