"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Boobs speak an international language.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
