Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
