Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
