we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
