I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
