Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
