So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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