I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
