the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I smell stomach acid.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You took a bar mat shot.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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