Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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