put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
