just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
