"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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