She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
