Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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