we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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