we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
