apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
