I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My cat gives me a boner
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
