We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
