when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
