maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
