yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
