Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
