No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we're making bets on your personal life
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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