mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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