What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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