Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
