He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
