i barfeds in our rink
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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