i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
