Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
