normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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