He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she peed on how many people?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
