I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
