he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
