Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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