Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
