I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
