I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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