They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
