Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize