Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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