everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
