I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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