there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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