This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
