when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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