3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
