Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
