so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
