Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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