oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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