Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
