Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
