Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
