Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
