I hope mine doesn't look like that
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
