it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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