apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
