Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
